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alicesbottle

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God, isn't it over yet? [Dec. 28th, 2006|12:16 am]
alicesbottle
Tis the season to eat holly (a poison, I'm told - perhaps at quiet end to the year.) A long year has past, and I hold no qualms about letting it slip into history. A new boyfriend, a move, an awesome semester - nothing to scoff at, but it seems like it's just a "bridge" year to get me by (a leap year, so to speak).

ooh boy, I wonder how long this bridge is, and where it takes me!
.... I hope it's not going to snap and send me careening into oblivion (yikes!).

After such a hard working year, it seems I FINALLY have some days off (of school, work, boy, and child-minding responsibilities) and I have all intention of completely INDULGING myself for the next couple days, cumulating in a drunken bar night for Sandra's birthday on friday. Today, I took myself out for lunch and tea, bought myself an astrology guide and couple of D.H. Lawrence novels at Second Glance Books, and rented some Miyazaki films to indulge my "whimsical" side (ha, "side", who am I kidding?). I spent the evening hanging out with Steve, Shawna, Sandra, and Johnny, we smoked a little and just hung out, but everyone was to tired for me, so I came home to sit up alone.

It's only just past midnight, but the bed is calling my name (in a sensual, come hither voice: "karri, karri, let me wrap myself around you"). I'm just about reading to resort to crawling on all fours; my eyes are drooping, I'm fading fast!

maybe, too much walking today. Or, maybe what's more likely, I'm collapsing from the massive sugar high that is Shawna's house - the week after christmas.

(ps- I'm seriously considering moving in to Karen's camper trailer. All I need is an extension chord and a bucket to pee in.)
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Breaking up is hard to do [Jan. 3rd, 2006|04:51 pm]
alicesbottle
I'm a poor communicator.
I can talk gibberish for hours straight. I love to entertain people(myself) with stupid stories, self-degradation, and generally naive-ego-mania.
And perhaps, if you piece all this gibberish together, you can get a clear picture of me.
Unfortunately, I don't believe this is the case with most people.

I'm an awful communicator.
Because I'm afraid if I heard what I'm about to say, I'd loose my defenses and be open for a beating.
I suppose, in some cases, it's an issue of trust.
I suppose, in other cases, it's about keeping my mouth shut to be polite.
And, perhaps most of the time, it's because I'm struck-dumb.

This is not about you. This is an amalgamation of 19 years of silence and poor communications skills. This is about the constant chatter that says nothing.
This is about my own shit.
I wish everyone would just deal with their own shit.
Cause we all have the same old shit.
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Wrapping It Up [Dec. 24th, 2005|11:51 pm]
alicesbottle
[music |oleander - Sarah Harmer]

I sat home, alone, tonight.
I finished several bottles while watching an Ellen DVD and the Notorious C.H.O.
"For us, to have self-esteem is an act of revolution; and our revolution is long overdue" Margaret Cho

---

The rents are coming to visit tomorrow. My mom only mildly guilted me for not coming home this week (yay). The lover told me they're really good with parents. I said "No. No, you'll never meet them. Ever. It can't happen." I feel like a jerk. A super scared jerk. Who am I afraid of?

A) Four people.

---

All the lights on the block are already off. Since I'm still mildly drunk, I think I may go for a midnight walk with the dogs. If it were a little warmer, I'd sit outside and play guitar.
( You should listen to Sarah Harmer with Weeping Tile playing "Dogs and Thunder". So sad. )

---

Merry christmas, I guess. I hope you all have a good day, and find a lot of love, surrounded by gift wrap and spiked coffee drinks.
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whirrrr.... [Dec. 22nd, 2005|05:26 pm]
alicesbottle
[music |Combat Baby - Metric]

oh oh.

The lover got me a Magic Bullet for X-Mas.

No, it's not a vibrator.. it's a blender.

I is so excited to make smoothies. Lots and lots of smoothies.

---

I have the night to myself for the first time in a while. I did 8 loads of laundry today, my room is clean. I am going to watch a documentary about internet pornography (Love Machine). It's for work. I swear.
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Hot Child in the City [Dec. 22nd, 2005|12:14 pm]
alicesbottle
[music |How Blue Can You Get - B.B. King]

hung.
over.
the railings of of this morning.
there's a layer of sweat and gravel coating each muscle.
and my cranium is floating in sourpuss shooters.

---

Well, HOT night with John, even if it was super short (I was home before I changed back from my bar-star alter-ego.) Stephen took every opportunity to yell in my ear this morning; note to self: intoxicate Steve, and proceed to make him suffer the next morning.

Ha, I'm getting him booze for X-Mas. The plan in in action...
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'Tis the Season [Dec. 19th, 2005|06:52 pm]
alicesbottle
[music |Hang On Little Tomato - Pink Martini]

Done done done with a GPA of 4.0. I did much better than expected in Bio and Psyc (A- and A), and I got an A+ in English. !
I've got a week off work.
And the "relationship" is full of open, healthy discussions and tickle fights. Disgusting? Deliciously so.

To top it all off, I found my favorite sweat pants. And I think there may be ice-cream in the fridge. I'm so comfy with everything right now.


... and the baby's wearing pigtails and Steve's got his face in a frame.

Thanks, Santa!
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36 hours.. and counting.. [Dec. 13th, 2005|12:16 pm]
alicesbottle
[music |32 Flavours - Ani DiFranco]

Sick as a dog... and then some.
Has anyone seen my duodenum?
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Delicate December [Dec. 10th, 2005|06:06 pm]
alicesbottle
[music |Baby's Got Sauce - g Love]

My exams are just about done, and my December is looking like work, work, work. Saucy Fops have a play next week, I'm super excited for that (Cayman won't tell me what it's about - though he will talk about his desire to make babies.) I'm working through Christmas and New Years, luckily I have New Years Eve off.. Jones and Erich are getting a Keg and a giant bottle of rum, Michael (a Dub DJ) and Been's party with have mushroom tea and djembes. Oor I could stay home and drink by myself, get all bitter and go out on the street and throw things at people. Those are my top three options. I'm sure glad I have a few weeks to decide!

I might be coming out to SA around the 20th, but it all depends on my work schedule, my family, the weather.. I was hoping to get an opportunity to see friends I haven't talked to in a while..

-
Today Shawna handed over VOLUMES of her poetry for me to look through, to pick apart, to use as I will. I feel quite honoured, I know it's hard to share what you create, especially when it's so highly emotional. It's like opening up wounds to expose your most vulnerable.

Speaking of wounds:
Once I get healthy again, I'm considering getting a labret stud (although I'm afraid it will counter my nose, or feature my big teeth and ever-chapped lips).

-
I bought a wool touque that looks like a frog. My father calls it my Kermit hat.
-

I am NOT studying about photophosphorolation right now. I should take off. Love.
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Take THAT, Bio 111! [Dec. 1st, 2005|07:01 pm]
alicesbottle
[music |Monday Monday Monday - Tegan & Sara]

Earlier this week= Shawna got two kittens. Jaxom and Alice(?- I call her Alice because she looks like an alice.. and shawna has told me I CANNOT call her Fuzz-Bucket.)
Also, Semiah walked. Wootootootoot.
Today=Lab exam (75-85% hopefully) and shopping with Nicole.
Friday=NoMoreHomework! and work.
Saturday = Staff party and sleepover with John. Hot.
Monday= Psyc exam
Thursday= I begin my career as a children's entertainer.

----

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was silver... like metal. And I was making out with Lenny Kravitz/boy down the street (we were in LOVE).

----

ps- I got the bestest email from Katherine. I almost cried :)
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(no subject) [Nov. 17th, 2005|10:42 pm]
alicesbottle
[music |deceptacon (DFA RMX) - le tigre]

I'm losing control of my body. I've been a dirty sponge full of viruses and bacteria. I've been drinking a lot. My body's been falling into an awkward state. My appearance is crumbling, and my hygiene is slipping. I feel bumpy and chubby while bony and saggy. I've been staying up late. The bags under my eyes have gone from red to black. I'm hunched over and my lady parts have been stretched and wrenched. My throat is sore. I want a lollypop.

.. wait, wait, I love this song *dance break*

Anyways. So university is making me unhealthy. And I have pink eye. And my artificial moon cycle (which makes me question how I could ever be in touch with my body when the female cycles that are so essential to my being are being fabricated and replaced by something similar, but not QUITE the same as what I should be experiencing)

.. I think my biggest concern is that all these factor are leading to me having a smell. If I had a smell, would you tell me?
Would you say "Karri... seriously.. take a fucking shower."
yes?


....thank you
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